Building that Loving Relationship

Everything we explore and experience is an expression of our relationship with our primordial nature – Damon Gautama

http://becomingfullyhuman.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/it-can-be-helpful/

I take my inspiration from two of my favourite bloggers today Yaz Rooney and Damon Gautama who were both the vehicle for bringing me something I need at the moment. Thank you both. When I am down I can just go and read all the amazing posts from the bloggers I have discovered. I could just gobble you all up, I am so grateful.

Both messages are about love and relationship which, now I think about it is the number one, numero uno, the only thing worth having on this planet! Yep, back to sweeping statements. I think my Mojo must be returning! Confident to allow my ignorance to shine forth once again and not care how it’s received.

Damon points out that we have only one relationship and that’s with our primordial nature. To me that means with ourselves though I am sure he is also referring to the fact that we are all one in a sea of Quantum Energy. You could call it a relationship with the Universe or God if you like to use that word (which I am not comfortable using myself personally).

This relationship with yourself is based on faith and trust in yourself. Do you have trust that you will keep to your own (high?) standards? That you are being the ‘best’ you can be and won’t let yourself down, or judge that you are letting yourself down (same thing perhaps)? Do you have inner peace because you have faith and trust that as your life unfolds it will bring you what you want? How about what you need? If I open my eyes and look clearly once more I realise it certainly is bringing me what I need, if I have courage to see it. It takes courage to be happy. Courage to go ‘Oops I was wrong but it’s OK, I can learn from this’. I forgive myself. This week I wasn’t forgiving myself for being grumpy and unsettled. Damon responded to my comment about how I was feeling, that there is a big energy going through the world this week and I believe it because I want to believe that it’s not just me feeling this way. I have looked around for examples of other people feeling grumpy to solidify my opinion and gratify my ego. Easily done and pointless really. Seek and ye shall find. But of course it’s fine if I am the only one in the whole world feeling this way. I am allowed to. Anywhere in the world just now is someone overjoyed at having a baby or getting married or falling in love. And others are perhaps in mourning for something – a job, money, lover, identity which they thought they needed to go on being happy. Of course their journey is to process the loss or the gain, and hopefully come to the conclusion that it’s all OK. Everything is fine as it is. They are fine as they are. Outcomes are neither good nor bad.

Anyway I digress. Back to success and the success of loving who you are, what you do and how you do it. My ego loves that I can bounce back. My ego loves my job in customer service, problem solving and helping people. I get a kick out of feeling I have gone above and beyond to help them, even if they don’t see it. And I love how I do it – with enthusiasm, understanding attitude and tone of voice on the phone, putting my brain into gear to not only help them solve the actual problem but make them feel better. I defend the company I love if possible and apologise for our failings when all too necessary. It’s about connection, as is any job really. I am at an entry level job, probably unappreciated by society yet I am finally feeling like a success now that I see it the right way! I always thought I needed more but I just needed to see it right and I knew it. This quote clarifies it for me more and I am grateful.

So if our one relationship and possibly our happiness rests on how we judge our relationship with ourselves what can we do to improve it? For me it’s applauding my own successes in whatever form it takes (not buying the fattening honey roasted Macadamias in the supermarket yesterday) and forgiving my failures (buying the half price Toblerone and a bottle of Frangelico this week in hopes of making some amazing new cocktail I have the recipe for somewhere, using Christmas as an excuse).

Applaud and Forgive. It’s quite the opposite of the Beat Myself Up and Downplay Anything Good that I did, said, wore, felt.

I am back on track! Praise be to ….?????  

Advertisements

Losing perspective

Hold no point of view and no perspective and then and only then, you’re right – Julien Matei

http://julienmatei.com/2012/11/06/freedom-3/

This is by one of my favourite bloggers; Julien Matei, a gifted man who is using his gifts to share the light he generated to find his way out of his own darkness – the darkness we all have in our shadows. Actually I think that can be said of many artists – writers, bloggers, painters. We had the strength to shine a light when one was needed instead of curling up in the shadows. The light was so bright that it remained when its job was done. And on it shines!

Julien’s simple post reminds me of the need to regularly examine or clear my story; my perspective on life. First I had to become aware that I even had a perspective, a filter, a paradigm. Once I knew it existed, I could examine it. It’s impossible to work with the ‘unknown invisible’. I talk about this often. It’s like needing to see that you have a ‘problem’ before you can free yourself from it. In the same way we might go from doctor to doctor to validate something we cannot see but we are feeling the negative effects of, we can investigate the cause and not just relieve the symptoms of what’s not working, in our minds and in our lives.

Buddhism describes this holding no perspective as ‘Accept what is’. To accept something you would see it through a neutral lens You would observe as dispassionately as if you were watching a fictional movie. My counsellor taught me that if someone was upsetting me – I mean if I was letting someone get to me, then until I developed clear thinking skills, I could imagine a TV screen around that person’s head as they were talking to me. I had to separate myself, unhook my ego I suppose, so that I did not take the words personally and hook them onto my fragile self. That person could be saying those things to someone else and it would not create the same depth of feeling in them or in me. I created that upset and I had to see it. If I had no perspective, I would have been ‘right’ or at least unperturbed.

We do not need to be ‘right’ to live a happy life. We need to accept it’s OK to be wrong. Acceptance is everything. The wisdom I have been drawn to write about in these blogs is all along the same theme. Nothing is really new but it is like a field of understanding, a flavoursome soup in which I now like to swim. I even add my own croutons.

I like to think of this soup as being validated by Quantum physics. I don’t know enough but I have recently heard of Neutrinos which can even pass through the body. This ‘energy’ around us can actually be seen and measured. So exciting!

Anyway I digress. Thanks Julien for reminding me to drop my preconceived notions as much as I can. Your rays are much appreciated.

Watch out fellow bloggers. Your turn tomorrow!