Do you believe yourself?

Believe yourself

Believe yourself

This isn’t a typing error. There should be no ‘in’ after believe in that sentence. We surely all believe in ourselves to some extent but do we believe ourselves and why does it matter? 

When I was a kid my siblings liked to stir me up by pretending they didn’t believe me when I told them something. I would get all upset about it and promise and swear on my Tiny Tears, in all earnestness that it was true.

It’s all too easy unfortunately to be mean to a child as they take things so seriously and believe in justice, right or wrong, black and white. It takes a while for them to realise that others sometimes like to be mean for the fun of it. It still eludes me today and I don’t enjoy practical jokes that can cause even a nanosecond’s discomfort to someone else.  Perhaps it’s because they have the tools to deal with that kind of thing, they assume everyone else does and that it won’t do any harm. Go pick on someone your own size!

Anyway it’s taken me a lifetime to realise that it doesn’t matter if others believe you as long as you believe yourself. If they say that red is green and you are an honest person yourself, not understanding why someone would lie, you might start to question yourself and look for proof that red is in fact green. What a waste of energy, better spent questioning why someone else would lie or try to stir you up. Better yet, accept that people are different, their journey is theirs and let it go. It doesn’t have to be part of yours. What they believe or what they tell you they believe is their business. Nothing to do with you. Have faith to believe what you believe until such time as you no longer do.  No one can take your beliefs away unless you let them.

This blog is for all the sensitive people out there on a journey to lose that sensitivity, see the rest of the world for what it is and accept that people do things which are incomprehensible to you. All we can do is get out of their way, not try to control or even change anyone else and work on our own filters, our own minds and our own stories. Most of all we need to believe ourselves. A lifetime of genes, experiences and decisions has brought us to where each of us is now, doing our best with what we have.  Further observation of life will take us onward, hopefully to a place of peace and understanding. All we ultimately have is our thoughts. Guard and protect them well.

guard your thoughts

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Don’t Call Me, I’ll Call You

One True Friend

In the last couple of weeks, I ran into two people with whom I used to be quite close. One I worked with for a year and a half in a miserable office, run by a miserable man and we found solace in each other. I did anyway. The other was going through something I was going through, for a while there, as well as both of us bringing up three small kids. Both Melinda and Tracey decided to stop calling me for whatever their reasons, amongst many other people in my life. It has long since stopped bothering me. In fact it’s a good thing.

It was brilliant to see them and catch up. I had about ten minutes with each and we all asked the kind of questions that involve summaries, not details, because you both kind of know that you need to cover the big stuff (after about 4 years of not seeing each of them) because you won’t be talking again any time soon. I was so happy to talk to them and hear their news. I am so fond of both of them and my warm hugs for them were genuine.

What made me smile was the ease with which I said goodbye but how they both said ‘We must do coffee/catch up again soon’. I just smiled at them. I wonder if they felt they needed to say that, to make the parting easier, or if there was any guilt on their part. I hope not, because that’s not who I am any more. I’m OK with me, so I am not offended and I hope that if I stop calling someone, because I like my freedom, it doesn’t register for them either. We are all drawn together and apart, depending on the current circumstances and I can still ‘love’ all those people I was once close to, for who they are, without needing to make conversation regularly. They have all touched me, all changed me in some way and left fond memories and understanding about different people. I hope I have done the same for them.

There are so many other awesome people out there waiting to meet me, and I them. Brief encounters are fantastic and I don’t feel the need to hang on to every person like I did when I was younger. You should have seen my Christmas Card list before I stopped sending them!

And who are my true friends? Everyone, all of them. How long does it take to make a connection and appreciate another soul? Sure, I have friends I have known since school, who live on the other side of the world, and we may keep in touch once a year, or occasionally through Facebook, but all are just as precious whether we keep in touch or not. I value the people I meet, for whatever connects us.

And do I get regular calls from friends and go out every week? No, actually and I realise I have cultivated that lifestyle on purpose. Nor do I call anyone. I like my alone time, my pottering and thinking and writing and observing and loneliness does not figure in this life of mine.

So dear friends, I love you all the same and wish you happiness wherever you are and whomever you are or aren’t with, including me. 🙂

When the world looks different

Upside down snowman

Anyway I am digressing from writing quotes by the ‘masters’ it seems and have lapsed into silly land but we are the master of our own blogs, king of the castle, creators of our little worlds so what the heck! I will still smile at this image in years to come when, as an old lady, I read these back!

But there is a message here, in this lovely seasonal snowman image. (Not so seasonal here actually as it’s Summer in Australia). There are a few messages for me:

  1. Look at things differently – HUGE message, HUGE – That is the answer to everything I am convinced. Change how you look at things (upside down if need be) in order to change the very same world you are living in. Hopefully you will like what you see with your new eyes much better and if you don’t look again until you do.  Gratitude helps.
  2. Sometimes you feel out of kilter, like you are seeing good things differently all of a sudden, like this week when I got massively hormonal. It came and kicked me in the gut basically and I had a good cry for no reason at all, amongst other dastardly acts. I was still a perfectly good, functioning snowman but I lost the plot, didn’t realise I was looking at things upside down and forgot that it was ‘me’, not ‘them’ playing up. Apologies help.
  3. Things can be turned right side up again, quite easily. This too shall pass. Don’t forget that bad moods go away and if you aren’t wild eyed enough to forget that it’s your hormones and that you are not actually bipolar, all the better. Mindfulness helps.
  4. It’s good for the brain to do things differently, I’ve heard. Take a different route to work, sit in a different desk in class, eat something different. Be unpredictable and you will grow as a person. Looking at a picture of a snowman may make me a little warm and fuzzy from memories past but this made me outright smile. Humour helps.
  5. Thanks to the person who thought up this idea for a snowman and made it.  Thanks to the person who pinned it on Pinterest. Thanks for my PMS passing so that I may laugh again. Actually just

THANKS!!