A Wordless but Excruciating Battle


Marilyn in thought 1960s

Whatever is good to know is difficult to learnGreek Proverb

Thinking deeply about what this quote means to me is actually painful because it brings up memories of some awful times, from my childhood onwards. I don’t think ‘good’ is the right word in this proverb. Maybe it got lost in translation from the Greek. ‘Whatever is essential, life changing, character forming is excruciating to learn.’ Yes that’s better.

The kind of situation I think this most applies to is, for example,  when you have had a hideous argument with someone. You might be fuming, full of adrenalin and thinking things like ‘if only I’d said that’ or ‘and yes I really am right because of this and this’, or ‘they hate me, I am useless, I will always be useless’ or ‘they are awful, I don’t want to ever be friends again, just think of all the rotten things they have done to me in the past’.

All sorts of nasties can creep in whispered by the gremlins, or ‘pain body’ (Eckhart Tolle) or the devil, if you will. As your mind tries to work out the solution to ease the discomfort you are feeling, and find a way to dissipate this anger, you don’t realise that you may be using the wrong tools to solve your dilemma; like using your elbow to clean out your ear.

We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them – Albert Einstein

As a child, you are likely to continue on this path, storing hurts and painful memories. You might avoid the other person until you’ve forgotten what you were arguing about and eventually sweep the hurt under the carpet. Or the fight escalates and others get involved until so much damage is done that you fall out permanently. The worst outcome is that you decide you really must be useless.  You create this opinion about yourself (which you are sure is based in reality), thanks to all the information you have gathered in this terrible hyped up state. You condemn yourself and slowly slip into the habit of depression, imprinting your brain until it’s in your neural pathways and hard to fight off, useful as a reliance mechanism; a mental way out that’s like a stinky but familiar old blanket.

But, with maturity and a lot of difficult soul searching, I learned what was ‘good to know’, namely that it can all change in an instant. The path is not set; it is created by you as you take each step. For it is you and only you treading the path and creating your own consequences. I later learned how to effect that change in myself and learned what needs to happen internally and externally.  These kinds of situations will be offered to you again and again until you learn the lesson, so you might as well learn it sooner rather than later.

Here are some of the ways this situation can be resolved, either by our own hand which has longer lasting effects or by others;

– The other person comes to apologise and all those destructive thoughts you were having evaporate, until perhaps the next time.

– You gather yourself (it comes with practice, but try focusing on your breathing for a start) and look at the situation more objectively until you calm down and start to see the other person’s side also.

– You realise you might actually be wrong if you would only admit it, and that it’s OK to make horrible mistakes.  You will live and survive, head held high. Perfectionism be damned!

– You reach out and say a simple sorry to the other person, whether you feel sorry or not (everyone always thinks they are right, but really there is often no such thing; it’s too subjective).

It’s best if you do feel sorry of course, having recognised the nonsense of the argument, your part in it (why don’t we dare admit to ourselves that we are far from perfect?) and remembering why you have a relationship with that person in the first place.  Even ‘faking it till you make it’, nips the destructive and out of control feelings in the bud.

To me the most important lesson is to not give yourself time to wallow if you are running down this thorn-filled path. Tell yourself you are not listening to this rubbish and won’t make any decisions about anything until you are calmer. Hop off this runaway thought train this instant.

I guess that’s why they say ‘don’t let the sun set on an argument’; so that you don’t have time to create mountains out of mole hills in your head. This can be sturdy advice but here’s another way of looking at it;

My ex (still good friends) and I agreed to never argue at night, when somehow things seemed worse because of being tired or due to the darkness. The sun coming up the next morning makes a huge difference to one’s psyche. It’s just biology. If you are calm and fully able to sleep, knowing the other person is OK too, go for it! You might agree to continue the talk later; at least forging some kind of agreement between you amidst the discord.

If you are centred enough to mend bridges now, do that. But if the person who is battling the strongest emotions needs time to settle down and has the capacity to calm themselves, then distance is good. This process of learning to calm yourself may take years to acquire; or if you are a mature soul, you may be born with it. But it is difficult to learn, it is good to know and so essential to finding happiness. The reward is trust in yourself and your ability to endure and enjoy living as a flawed human being, when life’s inevitable changes are thrown at you or you let yourself down.

And why is it so difficult to learn to change our thoughts instead of be ruled by them, with the accompanying emotions and dramas; to try a completely different path; to put ourselves out there and be vulnerable, especially to ourselves?  Why protect our egos?

I guess it’s difficult because we have to put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation where we don’t know the outcomes.  We are afraid of ourselves, not of the other person.  This new thinking will change the dynamic of the relationship with the other person of course, but most importantly with our story about who we think we are.

So we dither. Why we dither and how to get around it is one of those ‘good to know’ things to which this Greek Proverb alludes. It’s probably one of the hardest things in life to learn to know and accept yourself, warts and all and then test it out on other people.

Anyway I digress.  I believe if you practise learning to center yourself, calm down and forgive yourself it becomes easier with time. Say sorry to people. See how they react! Are you nervous of their response, of making them feel uncomfortable or of your being rejected? If so, a hug goes a long way and does just the same as words, without any need for eye contact.

Marilyn Hugging

And if they push you away, you will still feel good for trying. You haven’t pushed you away.  You are now a stronger person. Their response has nothing to do with you. It is their journey; only they can mend their inner world. You can only work on your own inner peace and happiness, but I bet you will have left your mark.

Marilyn and Joan Copeland 1957


When nothing is something

Froggy doing nothing

To do nothing is also a good remedy – HIPPOCRATES

For seven years I had a wonderful friend whom I met with once a week. Since his passing (RIP John Edwin Sheehan 1920 – 2007) I have flashbacks of the things he taught me. He would say ‘When you don’t know what to do, do nothing’. At the time, my impulsive nature and ‘bull in a china shop’ personality found it hard to fathom. To me, it was procrastination which is never a positive thing. But there was truth in it of course. Perhaps it meant to think about the situation longer and if action was needed later, it would be well thought out.

But what are the situations when to do nothing is actually something; a choice and not procrastination? Most likely when something is a consumable, expendable, time related and the opportunity will be lost forever if you don’t do it then. It could be using a non refundable plane ticket perhaps or speaking up at the time someone else is being bullied, or need rescuing from a burning car.

Sometimes when people are talking to me, if I am present and aware of awareness, I can catch myself reacting inside to what they are saying. If my ego was present instead, I might formulate a biting retort. But being aware means I can choose instead to do nothing. Smile and let it go; a much more peaceful alternative. In the past my favourite thing was to walk off in a huff when my feelings overcame me. If I had ‘done nothing’ and stayed put to see how things played out instead, it would have saved me years of uncomfortable impasses in relationships, especially when they didn’t come after me.

Anyway I digress. The image of the frog above suggests that doing nothing is lazy, idle. Look at the way his hands rest on his protruding belly. However, being still and silent like this has so many benefits we are told. It reduces your stress levels, calms your breathing so that you take in more oxygen (which boosts your immunity), makes you more aware and able to see the big picture in life, leading to better outcomes for you and all around you. You can tune in to your inner intuition and make better choices. I wonder if Hippocrates was aware of these?

I seem to be tuned in to the message that meditation is key to everything! For me, being aware of awareness as much as possible is almost like a mini meditation throughout the day, where I catch myself and think ‘this is me, thinking about me’, instead of I have to do this and she should do that or I hate this and I feel bloated.  Whatever 🙂

This being really aware is something I used to do as a child when I looked in the mirror (this is me looking at me) but it freaked me out at the time as I didn’t understand about being trapped in your head and ego and that it doesn’t have to be that way.  Eckhart Tolle is all about that.

So today, as much as possible I am going to ‘do nothing’. I will accept everything that happens, all that I have to do and everything that is said. I will listen as much as I can, react as little as possible, except with curiosity and not run around doing more than necessary for some outdated belief of being more of anything, to please my ego.

Hippocrates’ remedy for what? No clue exactly but let’s see. Maybe it’s the answer to inner peace.


Set yourself free – one way or another

Angel in the marble

I found some ‘wisdom from the masters’ on Pinterest today – the whole point of creating this blog, much as I have digressed in any old direction with the blog as well as the posts.

Isn’t that what we are all doing with our lives – carving ourselves until we set ourselves free? What does your day consist of? How do you carve? With diet and exercise, learning and study, working and earning money?

I’m going to create a conversation between Eckhart Tolle and Michelangelo.

In response to this quote, I imagine Eckhart would say that the angel was already free; he already existed in Michelangelo’s mind and didn’t need setting free. The angel didn’t need anyone to complete him. He didn’t need time or being carved or more of anything to be complete. The angel can just enjoy being, enjoy the now. Joy is now after all.

Eckhart is assuming that the angel has no ego and doesn’t need to show off his beautiful form. And Michelangelo, if he has an ego as most people do, might argue that it is his life’s work to follow his passion, to share his talents, to show the world what exists in his mind, to create and leave his mark.

So what are you creating today? Anything that will be remembered 5 years, a year, a month, a week from now? Will you remember today next week or will it blur into yesterday, a tiny brick in the life you are building? 


Alternatively, do you go by Eckhart’s thinking, that you are already complete, that there is already a thin person inside you, that you are a brilliant and successful book writer, as soon as you carve your book and prove it, which you don’t need to, that you are already a rich person, meaning that you don’t need a thing? Future and time will not complete you, as you are already complete, so just relax and enjoy each day.

It’s your life.  Your choice.  You do what you like.  I hope you can think both ways.  It sure passes my years enjoyably toying with these ideas.




Where the bell meets the silence

The day is too short


I just spent 40 minutes looking at quotes on Pinterest because I prefer to use a quote with an image now. More to think about and reflect on. I decided they were too direct and messagey in themselves so I went looking for quotes by Zig Ziglar and then by Winston Churchill and then just on the subject of Christmas. Nothing was satisfactory. This left me very little time to blog today but I still learned something, which is the point of blogging in the first place. To learn.

I learned that some days you are just not all there. Today the quotes were unsatisfactory, I was unsatisfactory. Nothing is sinking in. None of the beautiful quotes and images spoke to me and no doubt if I put my iPod on shuffle, I would keep on going because none of the songs I carefully downloaded after years of listening pleasure would speak to me either. I have a grey filter on my soul for as long as it lasts.

Other days I am spoiled for choice with quotes and images and I want to listen to and marvel at every beautiful song, every beautiful thing. On those days I feel just like John above. And those are the best days. You are interested in everything. Those are the days that are the polar opposite of depression when nothing interests you.

So today is just a ‘Blah’ day. That’s all I have today. The blahs and mehs too. Until …. a moment comes any time soon and I no longer have the blahs. The veil will be lifted. It could be in 10 seconds or it could be in an hour. I wonder if I will recognise the moment when the sun comes out, like the moment when the sound of a bell resonating in the silence meets only silence. It will be beautiful, all the more so because of recognising the blahs now.

So if you find your days are Too Short, just like Mr Burroughs above, you are incredibly lucky. Enjoy. Enjoy it all. Nothing will be completed and it doesn’t have to be if you are treasuring each happy thoughts and moment instead of needing to have done ‘ALL’ to rate it as perfect.

I am happy just thinking of that day to come. It could be any moment now 🙂


The Insatiable Question

Can you see friday yetWe yearned for the future. How did we learn it, that talent for insatiability?”
Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

What is it about the future that’s so appealing and interesting? Eckhart Tolle says we think we need the future to ‘complete us’ but that we actually don’t. Albert Einstein says that physics proves that time is not linear and that we can affect the past by what we do now. I certainly believe we can affect our understanding of the past with a healthier mind and therefore can affect the amount of ‘suffering‘ which we let the past inflict on us. Buddha says all suffering is self-suffering. That often comes to my mind and is now held true in my personal belief system.

Anyway I digress. What importance do we give the future? When I was sad as a child, I cheered myself up with the thought that one day I would be married with kids and all the love in the world. It helped because I was seeing the essence of it; the anticipation of what that love meant to me. Loads and loads of just love. Do we always see the future in such black and white terms? I think so, purely because life bombards us with detail and we can’t even comprehend the detail of what’s to come, so we generalise. We look forward to a warm feeling we think we are going to have, from whatever objects or experiences we think we are going to have.

Of course it can go the other way and we could see the future as nothing but misery if we are depressed now, in the very same way; a hunch, a feeling, an overall concept. Very little detail.

But you can’t forget the detail of the ‘future’. The detail confuses things but also gives rise to potential to create what we want out of it. Life is like a soup. If you are swimming around in the soup, thinking it’s chicken soup, then every time you come across a shred of chicken your beliefs are confirmed. If you think it’s sweetcorn soup, you will notice all the chunks of corn instead. But you may assume your future is just going to be an all good or bad soup, and you forget all the flavours, variety and experiences coming to you which you will be ‘manipulating’ with your current belief system to create more of what you actually already have.

So the future is just more of what you have now. It’s not so different. It can’t complete us. It can only try to complete the ego which is the insatiable part. Insatiable needs to satisfy an insatiable ego. Futile really.

The future starts today, not tomorrow.” 

Pope John Paul II

So I am back to the realising the Power of Now. It’s all there is and it’s very comforting knowing that I already have everything I need. I can see Friday quite clearly and it looks good to me.



Who stole my present?

Just a quick, simple but important reminder as I awoke from a nightmare this morning and am not quite connected. Haha I realise I have just ‘let the past steal my present’ by letting the nightmare affect me. It is slowly wearing off. In my nightmare after a morning of being horribly disorganised and leaving for work very late and only half dressed, I attracted two rapists in a public car park and the rest of the people in the car park left (walked past me on foot) so I knew I was in trouble. When I woke I decided that if I was ever in that situation I would leave with the other people if I could even though it would appear odd and rude as the two men had started speaking to me. (I’ve heard that politeness and worrying about what other people think can make you more susceptible to rape as you don’t avoid the person your instincts tell you is dodgy). It was a horrible variation on my recurring disorganised dream where I have uni exams and haven’t attended the classes. Much worse consequences though.

Anyway I digress. So how does the past steal your present? And why shouldn’t it? As Eckhart Tolle says, the past is now just a memory, like a film in your mind. You may have photos and videos which last longer than the memories but even they will be destroyed eventually, like all physical things. We also ‘rework’ the memories into part of our ‘story’ that we commonly (but unfortunately) carry around with us, attached to our ego. This story can steal our present if it keeps replaying louder than the events around us. To steal our present means leave us not fully aware of what’s going on around us. It leaves us unable to be present and fully appreciate and enjoy things for what they are. The past could be terrible, full of childhood horrors which may steal our present by leaving us fearful and distrustful, or it could have been ‘magic’ so that nothing we do or have now compares.

Our bodies regenerate every seven years or so I have heard. Each body part takes different amounts of time. Our memories remain in our brains within connections and electrical pulses I believe, though clearly I know very little on this subject. My point is that thought is the main thing that we keep with us on our journey. (OK I’ve heard that cells have memory too but I don’t want to go too deep). Lessons, experiences, skills etc come with us. And so do the stories. If we can’t rework those stories into something manageable (accept life, become philosophical, forgive and forget) then they will bite us and affect our present. They will steal it by clouding our current experiences negatively. The first thing I did on awaking today was remove the photo of me in a bikini on my other blog!! Fear crept in and I listened.

So how can we rework those stories? Realising that they are stories formed by us is the first step. Realising we have the power to shape them and that we therefore have the power to reshape them is important. And having the will to let the story of your past go and ‘be present’, using all your senses to realise that where you are right here, right now is probably safe and calm is helpful if not essential.

Ultimately, we have to take responsibility for our own happiness and not assign the power to something external. We may not think we have the strength to overcome or forget the past but for me it is a worthwhile endeavour. Joy is Now. Look around you. You are bombarded with current information. Your surroundings, feelings, senses should take up every ounce of your thoughts and with whatever you have left, shape your ‘now’ the best way you can. Create beautiful experiences. Now where’s the chocolate?


How accurate is your measure?

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realising that life is made up of little things – Frank A. Clark

I have a basket full of little things to choose from. Actually I have house full of activities I like to undertake. No, I have a lake full of water and in each drop are the ideas I have for making my life memorable. No, forget that. I have a universe of potential but it all comes down to my little basket from which things peek out at me and I choose to do them from time to time. Little things only.

What do I want to accomplish that’s big? Ideally I’d like to take every human being for whom depression can be cured by mind over matter and not those that really need drugs at this stage in their lives and inject them with clear thinking, faith that it’s all OK really. They are OK, the world is OK. Perhaps that means I want to be all powerful if I’d like to help everyone. Yikes. Actually I can’t cope with power as I don’t have the confidence to think I could keep up whatever got me there, day after day and I would therefore let people down and cause suffering. Fail.

So I can only do little things. I write every day on this subject when I could be writing about just about anything. Just point me at a subject, and I have something to write :). And that’s where my ‘problem’ lay in life until recently. I judged my myriad of little ‘accomplishments’ as worthless. There is no big thing you could say that I achieved. No career, no profession, no consistency. I felt bad. Because I have so many interests, I try to break each thing I love down into tiny parts to get at least a sample of it as much as possible. On top of working full time, I talk to the kids, run for 20 minutes each day, write my diet blog, read all the blog posts I subscribe to (there seems to be a lull at the moment and I am not getting so many posts – where is everyone?). I am also reading three books and about to start A Course in Miracles because I keep seeing quotes from it.

And then I remember what’s in the bottom of the basket. I remember how much music lifts me up and I think my life will be improved if I could just squeeze in 20 minutes a day of practising the piano, or listening to my favourite songs. Then I think my brain would be better off in the long run if I practised my other languages or my lousy juggling or did Sudoku more often.

So it appears that I cannot accomplish something big in any one direction. I will never be an expert at piano, languages, juggling, running, gardening and certainly not at my job. And what about the rest of the things I’d like to do?

But I realise that I have accomplished something big. If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one says Mother Teresa. Well I am feeding myself. I am happy. I fixed my depression with clear thinking. And that is big. Finding bloggers out there who gladden my soul with their posts – Yaz, Diane, Julien, Damon, Cristian, Richard, Evan, Seth the photographer, to name but a few is BIG. I don’t follow the news I confess. I would rather fill my time with ‘listening to’ people I admire, not hearing about the actions of people that I don’t admire. And this is real, current, now. I am finding bloggers who brighten my love for the world and fill my head with more love.

So now I can add up my little things and realise I am accomplishing something big. A life I can enjoy. I shouldn’t take it for granted. I take my happiness and silly attitude and inject it wherever I can. People smile and laugh. With me, at me I don’t care (have you seen the ugly pictures on my Joy Is Now Gravatar?). I kind of live life with the attitude ‘if you can’t set a good example, you’ll just have to be a horrible warning’. Only I enjoy not always getting it right. It’s funny.

I completely digressed and probably missed the whole point of Frank’s quote probably. I think he is saying that by doing little things you will eventually accomplish something big. I say you have to realise how far you’ve come and redefine what BIG is. Infinite little decisions in our day make us who we are and we are already big. Go ask the people who love you! Theirs are the only voices worth listening to.


Masters of Silence

A Master doesn´t teach words, but Silence – Julien Matei

Mirrors of Encounters blog by Julien Matei 

I love this. And yet how ironic as I use words to express myself and the joy I have learned through being silent. By being silent I mean that I stopped chasing the things I thought I wanted on the outside to read, listen, learn and find what I needed on the inside.

I do not plan to stop writing. It soothes my soul and of course I am no Master. But it is true that Masters teach silence. I can’t speak for Buddha with any in depth knowledge but I know he would agree. Eckhart Tolle says in one of his two hour ‘intensives’ (his term) that ‘we are not sitting here today to add more but to take it away’ and that if you don’t ‘get it’ already then you will be extremely bored listening to his talks. He jokes that what he is trying to ‘assist the arrival of (because it is coming anyway)’ in the collective consciousness is EMPTINESS. And he can appreciate that it does not sound very exciting.

So how can silence/emptiness/nothing be of benefit? For me it gave me the chance to hear my inner voices more clearly. I would patiently listen to the negative voice within trying to make me feel bad, stupid, guilty for something I had done. Then I chose not to listen to it. If I wasn’t silent enough to really hear and be aware of the inner critic trying to undermine me, I could not have responded to with a more loving, constructive voice. It was just there fueled by others, fear and ignorance. And now it only whispers unconvincingly. The first step in fixing the ‘problem’ was being aware of it. I needed to hear it.

So there in the silence and stillness I found my answers, once I stopped looking so hard. The Masters continue to bring me silence. 



The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe. Gustave Flaubert

Every day on WordPress, I seem to be rewarded with a brilliant quote on the subject of writing which appears as soon as I have posted, put there by WordPress. I quickly copy and paste it, to savour later, being the massive information hoarder that I am. This quote is brilliant and I hadn’t realised this discovery before,but of course it’s true.

I imagine we all have very different methods of churning out our blogs. Are we creatures of habit, writing at a certain time each day? Do we only write when we are completely inspired? Having put off writing anything more than To Do lists and Morning Pages and notes on books for years, I decided to be a little strict on myself once I started blogging.

The stick was needed. I sit down to write early nearly every morning. I have absolutely no clue what I am going to write about or what quote to use. It works for me because without preparation I don’t feel it has to be brilliant and I can ‘let go’ of the outcome of the writing – stats, likes, comments. They mean the world to me but I will write and post anyway, not if I feel something will have great merit. It’s a true gift if it resonates with others but I will do it anyway. And this quote describes in part why. I write to discover what’s there inside me; how far I have come to overcome past ‘angst’. Slight understatement actually!

Think how deep the recesses of our brains are; magnificent structures that we really know little about. Our bodies are so miraculous I don’t have words to do the whole nature thing justice. Our brains are like a picnic basket full of food which you slowly fill over the years. You vaguely remember packing it but don’t know exactly what’s in there or what you will have for lunch each day. There is such a variety that you could create anything! But until you get the things out and start working with them, you won’t know what kind of sandwiches, or fruit salad or cocktails you could create. We think we know what’s in our mind, hearts and thoughts. We think we hear it every day on repeat; the endless chatter. We think we know how we’d react in certain situations, but we probably don’t until faced with them. And I believe we have no idea of what we are capable of until we open the basket and start creating.

So for me, writing every day is really exciting. The mind makes its random connections and I follow them down the rabbit hole each time. I allow myself to digress. I allow myself anything I like. Until I allowed myself, let go and accepted what appeared without judgement I couldn’t find this incredible peace that I feel now. I am learning what I am capable of. Maybe I will even write a book!

And if I ever feel troubled by being a little too open at times, telling my personal stories to essentially the world, (because I’ve heard that what’s on the internet never gets destroyed somehow), I remind myself that it’s OK. I am in safe hands. My hands, or rather my outlook. Others can’t hurt me without my permission. I am slowly testing that. I seem to be attracting and connecting with good souls, loving, creative authentic people and it is proving my theory that mankind is loving and decent, interested and interesting, wanting the best for each other and willing to be open to continually learning by reading and sharing. I love the sharing!

So yes Gustave, well put, thank you for bringing it to my attention.



Too High A Price

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it – Henry David Thoreau

I don’t like the thought of having to pay a price for anything but of course we always pay in one way or another. People will nod their heads sagely (as in sage, a wise person) as they say ‘Yes, that’s the price you pay’. And of course they aren’t usually talking about money. Price, cost, charge – such negative connotations even though by the mere act of consciously deciding to part with something in order to get something else, you are appreciating the value of that purchase.  Conscious is the important aspect here.

The kind of price I most fear paying most is the price of happiness, inner peace, sanity. I’ve lost all three at times it seemed and whatever it was that shook me; it was too high a price. I also value honesty, integrity and being able to sleep with myself at night which means of course that I probably miss out on a lot of ‘fun’.

How do we recognise the things that cost us in that way; that exact too high toll on our life; on our inner peace? Do we know ourselves well enough and the likely outcome of a certain action that we repeat in our lives until we learn the lesson? For a recovering alcoholic the price of a drink may be too high. It will likely cause inner turmoil and disappointment. For a battered wife who believes her husband is sorry and has changed this time, the price of keeping the home together when he regresses again is probably too high. She distrusts her ability to judge – herself or him. Do you know your values, and the price you pay to hang onto them? Are there situations where you wobble and can’t decide your course of action because you forget the price you will pay?

Henry talks about price as being ‘the amount of life’. How do we measure this amount of life? It’s unlikely to be in years. I could say I gave 15 years of my life to my ex husband! But that’s rubbish. I didn’t do any such thing – I lived and so did he during that time. We lived, loved and had a good time. No price paid there. Other ex partners might count that cost if they feel they ‘gave their best years’ as if being younger meant those years were better in some way. Most people I know love being the age they are; we are always at our wisest point with all the lessons we have learned along the way. Actually we are always at our youngest, most gorgeous point too. Tomorrow I will be older and a little more wrinkly so today is great! I’m the most gorgeous I will ever be. Enjoy it Emma. Life can just get better and better.

Anyway I digress. I think Henry isn’t referring to time. I think he is saying that the price of your decisions is the toll on your inner life.  Value your self acceptance and the confidence to deal with what life throws at you. That’s worth hanging onto at any price.