First you want to cry

Tattoo girl

What do you see? Does this make you happy or unhappy?

This picture, which I just found on Pinterest is a good test for me in my life. My age, experience and the beliefs I have come to attach to my ego says OMG what a waste of such a beautiful young thing, whoever she is. She has ruined herself. How ugly, how rough etc etc. I am not a fan of tattoos. I think the fact that they can be permanent adds to my dislike because I imagine her perfect skin scarred in the attempt of removal. All I see is greeny black mess where luminous young skin should be. One should be focussing on the beauty of nature, not the ugliness of man. Man just can’t compete.

Yada Yada Yada.

But why should I care? Why should I judge? They may bring her immense joy for the rest of her life and be seen as ‘beautiful’ by everyone else. My teenagers will fight with me on this subject until they are blue in the face and I know it’s my issue. I should be happy for this lovely young girl expressing herself, being who she is. It’s only my opinion and I would like to let go of my dislike of tattoos because it serves no-one, least of all myself. My beautiful daughter even now has two small tattoos and I’ve heard that once you get one, it’s addictive and you will continue to cover your body.

Nina tattoo

So this is my lesson for letting go. I cannot control anything, I can only accept and embrace. Who says I am right about anything, especially taste? There is no such thing as good taste anyway. Everyone’s taste is as unique as we are.

These lessons in letting go appear everywhere, every second. Do you judge or accept? How does that work for you and how quickly can you let go? When you next find yourself reacting strongly to something as I did to the photo of the young girl, use it, go with it and hopefully start to resolve it. For me that’s the way forward.






How to Fall in Love

The one that will relate with your beauty and radiance is the one that already experiences their life that way. The you that will find them is the one that is in love with yourself and the world. – Damon Gautama

I think this author/blogger should be famous so I am quoting him! I make my own rules here ๐Ÿ™‚ Damon has kindly given me permission to use his words from time to time.

A mini lesson I had to remind myself of when I found his blog this week is not to compare myself with others! Otherwise I would cease blogging immediately and lose the joy I get from expressing myself openly. Here is another quote from me. There is room for the rest; not only the ‘best’ โ€“ Emma Victoria Capell ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway I digress. To me Damon’s quote is the perfect, in fact only, recipe for falling in love. I believe he is saying that you will attract the people into your life who experience life the same way that you do. When ‘the one’ is attracted to the beauty and radiance you (we all) have inside, they relate with their own inner beauty and radiance and fall in love. For your part, ‘the one’ part of you that loves yourself and the world, ‘the you that will find them’ will fall in love with their beauty and radiance in return because you can relate to it.

We all have different ‘you’s’, don’t we? The you that loves yourself and the you that berates yourself. Me, myself and I; the ego and the id. Too many voices. Choose which one you listen to very carefully.

Anyway that’s why falling in love is so magical. We fall in love with ourselves and life at the same time as we fall in love with the other person. Our optimism for the future soars. But which came first – the inner or outer love? I believe Damon is saying that when we have love for ourselves and the world inside us all along, we will attract ‘the one’, to come along and share the beauty and radiance of the world with us, so we both fall in love.

Of course attracting people who relate to your negativity also applies. People who connect with others by complaining still attract and relate to other people, but in a different way. It is still connection.

But back to the people in love. I think some find it harder to find love because they have this back to front. They think ‘the one’ will change their negativity, point out what they secretly hope about themselves (that they are beautiful and radiant) and make everything right. Unfortunately we are least attracted to the negative in people. It can feel like a vicious circle, looking for love to make you happy, when you don’t feel optimistic to start with.

So how do we maintain this optimism; this glorious feeling of being in love permanently? What does it take to fall in love with yourself, the world and therefore your life, without needing this outside person to point out the ‘beauty and radiance’ already within you? How do you unlock your love of yourself and the world? For me it took my incessant reading, learning, my journey and now blogging to clarify the ‘I’m OK’ message! It brings the message home. Finally! I have won the prize I sought! (Most of the time ๐Ÿ™‚ )

By this rule of attracting others who experience the world the same way, my words may appeal to people curious about life and not scared of it; people seeking clarity and peace. I was originally hoping to find people who were depressed, whom I could really help, as I have been there. But unless they are looking for help they will not find it. Seek and ye shall find! And if they did find me and my cheery outlook, they might not relate and find me annoying. ย I can only wish them well. ย This happened to me years ago but I never forgot the bubbly lady in question. I ‘defended my right to be unhappy’ and felt she was unsympathetic at the time. She only wanted to help.

So thank you Damon for these lovely words. May ‘the one’ in all of us, continue to experience beauty and radiance in the world, in whatever form and as often as possible. And may ‘the you’ in all of us, fall in love with the world and ourselves whenever we can.

It’s a beautiful union.