The Quandary and the Shoe

quandary

Don’t type

Bad things happen to good people all the time, right? There is no rhyme nor reason and the best thing the ‘good’ person can do is not react, not take it on board with self blame and with any luck learn to let it go and become stronger in the process. Bad things don’t happen to you all the time, and the person doing the bad thing has to live with those kinds of outcomes day after day until they stop doing it and the lesson is learned. Karma.

However this ignores one tiny problem. We are all human and we are programmed to react when something happens. It saved our lives in caveman times. My life’s journey is to grow up, mature and not care anymore when life throws the inevitable trials at me. Nothing really matters. Things change in a heartbeat and everything turns to dust eventually. I can be happy anyway and the quicker I let go, forgive, release my self examination, the better.

I recently learned to keep shtum over a ridiculous attack and it was definitely the right thing to do. In fact I think the person involved might have had a screw loose. This time I have a quandary because I need an ongoing relationship with this person and even after a few days I feel ridiculously uncomfortable. I have examined my part in it, my motives and my sensitivity and the nagging feeling hasn’t gone away. Do we report the ‘mugger’ or the rapist so that they are less likely to reoffend? Life is a lot easier if we don’t and many choose not to.

On my morning run just now I wore some new trainers. After 10 minutes my right shoe started rubbing my foot and I was concerned that there must be a rough seam in the shoe which would always hurt me. I would use the shoes for gardening instead. The judge has decided and the sentence has been passed! I adjusted my shoe a little and carried on. The niggle returned shortly thereafter and I decided to investigate because my left shoe was fine. On inspection, what was hurting me was a prior wound on my foot, a mosquito bite I received yesterday which had swollen due to my scratching. Shoes given the royal pardon. Lesson learned.

running quote

So how will it turn out today? What I’ve learned is to not jump to conclusions and pass sentence too quickly. I need to investigate, ‘seek to understand’ as my favourite book ‘Crucial Conversations’ states. I feel calmer but ready to do the uncomfortable investigation in order to lay this one to rest. Choose your battles. If I were perfectly zen I would not even be pondering or writing about this one. But you can’t win ’em all, right?

only human

I’m only human

 

 

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3 thoughts on “The Quandary and the Shoe

  1. Hi Emma, I’ve noticed that a problem always solves itself when we see the situation for what it really is; a mirror of some inner issue that we need to resolve. Forget all your judgements about whether this person had a screw loose or not, just listen to the words and hear the message. Look within for the truth in it, even if the words seem difficult to understand at first. You will always find the truth, because no interaction is wasted in this universe. Your foot issue also had another message. This interaction is poking at a past wound, which is why you are so emotional about it. Explore that too, because it needs resolving. Good luck with it all!

  2. We watched a movie yesterday about an adult Austrian and his friendship with the child Dalai Lama. One statement really stood out for me which I must paraphrase because of my faulty memory: “Do not worry. If you are to fail then you will fail. If you are to succeed then you will succeed. Worry will not change this.” That is the gist and it struck me in a very powerful way. Still, I always care because that is my nature. Fighting your nature is as pointless as worrying.

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