You don’t get good apples from a bad tree – George Repnin
I know the saying ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’ in which the children are assumed to be very like their parents. But I disagree with that one. The ‘sins of the parents’ could be exactly what drives a child to be different in their lives, ‘better’, in the important ways at least.
So by this quote, I am understanding that when your mind is not right, it is not fruitful and the results of your efforts are not good apples.
Do you know how you will behave in a certain situation? Would you be a hero or a coward in a life or death situation, risking everything? I’d like to think I would be the hero. I am impulsive enough and negligent of consequences most times so I don’t see why that would be any different. But who really knows?
I have been mindful of my own behaviours. I would like to think I know myself. I know that when faced with an array of cakes and desserts on offer, I am completely unlikely to avoid them, no matter how strict my ‘diet’.
I know that when I am really happy (in love) I eat what I like (think sugar and carbs) and put on weight. When I am bored or discontent with my life, I battle with my conscience and yet still eat all those wickednesses that I have stashed away in my bedroom that I should be avoiding, let alone buying and squirreling away.
I also know that when I am really stressed, the weight falls off ridiculously fast as I lose my appetite and the term ‘comfort food’ suddenly doesn’t apply.
I am seeking clues at the moment to this happiness thing. (All good today, by the way, just deep in thought). I have started a list of what has managed to lift my spirits in the past when I am inexplicably unhappy. This list differs for everyone, in the same way that different diets work for different people. I keep my happiness list on the noticeboard in my bedroom.
When I am a ‘bad’ tree of course, the items on that list don’t seem to work to cheer me up, much as they might have done another time. Things such as tidying or cleaning. Or reading, or doing logic puzzles. In fact the more I sloth with magazines and brain teasers, the worse I feel but am unable to stop. It’s a bit like the child that is abused by the parent goes to that very same parent looking for consolation! Don’t we weave complicated relationships in our lives – with people, food, activities?
Do you know how these relationships function for you? How you are likely to react to events, temptations, people, discord? Do you have a family history of sweeping things under the carpet and continuing cordial relationships as if the ‘abuse’ never happened? That works well in one of my relationships, if you can call it a relationship.
Anyway I digress. My point today is that it really is the quality of your mood that defines how fruitful (in terms of happiness) your day will be. That seems like tautology, if I am using the right term. SO obvious. Your mood defines your happiness, duh Emma. What I mean is that how the tree is being treated, with love and fertiliser, doesn’t always make a difference to how the apples turn out. I certainly don’t blame every parent of a serial killer. And how you treat yourself, doing things you love and look forward to, doesn’t always bear fruit if your tree is bad that day. I think depression is defined by no longer enjoying that which you used to.
So I will keep looking for the fertilisers for my tree. I will resist trying to fell it also. It’s enjoyable and satisfying to my ego to think I am getting somewhere permanent. In fact that’s what gave me the courage to even blog. I figured that I had a lot ‘sorted’. But the wise man knows he knows nothing! And the more you learn, the more you realise you don’t know.
Why did I blog today? No clue. Do I feel I have any wisdom to impart? Not really, only questions to ponder. But that doesn’t matter because