Letting it Out

Being there for everyone else

This seems cute and obvious and perhaps a reminder to appreciate the people in your life who are there for you but I want to take it one step further.

Yesterday I had a mini meltdown!! I was so looking forward to an event where I knew a really deserving friend was about to get some much needed and long overdue recognition. How did I know this? Because I had been gathering the praise from all the people who loved and appreciated her and had them ‘vote’ for her, complete with writing down why she deserved to win. We all have those kind words and appreciation inside us for various things and people in our lives but until we are called to task and reminded to put it out there, we can seem to take things for granted. I didn’t even know if everyone I contacted would vote, but they did and it was lovely to hear in other people’s words why they also think she is special. And I wasn’t even sure who to ask as she usually floats under the radar so there should have been many more.  

All through the event, I kept looking at her hoping I was right about what was coming. So too did some of the other people I contacted, I noticed; huge smiles on their faces. Finally as the comments were read out, before the winner was actually named, and some of the descriptions of what she did were starting to point quite conclusively at the lady in question I saw it dawn on her. Her head dropped and the tears started to form. But this is where I melted. I cried way more than she did. I have a lump in my throat now, just at the memory.

But back to her. The comments kept coming; things which people had been thinking but not showing before now. She told me later that she was so overcome that she was shaking all morning as well as smiling all day. After the event people kept coming up and hugging her and I realised that there were so many people in other departments I could have contacted.

I didn’t let on that this wasn’t a spontaneous outpouring; that I had orchestrated it. That might have detracted from her joy. It made no difference that I was the vehicle for this because people would not have taken the time to think, write and vote unless they wanted to. All I knew is that I thought she was special and I could see she needed a pick me up. I didn’t realise how much it would affect me. Could the quote be true?

Now to me, sorry. I was a mess. I had to really calm myself and hide it from her though of course she noticed later and came over, being the beautiful person that she is. I blamed it on another event in my day which I hadn’t enjoyed. I shall just say I think it was a full moon!

So I got to questioning the strength of my reaction. Tears for her joy and tears for me. I was worried that my ego wanted that validation for myself; that I wasn’t as altruistic as I thought. I know it’s important to love yourself and not wait for this outside validation, and that I felt good, really good being the instigator of others being reminded to act on stored appreciation for this lady. However I did nothing. I can’t take credit because if I do, I will have to take credit for all the bad stuff I inadvertently do too. I can only examine and rationalise my feelings, and use the information about my reactions to go forth a wiser person. It was just a weak moment, I’m only human. We all get caught up occasionally.

Hey look I realise that I have cheered up already. This writing out your feelings in a blog post really works! 

[I would just like to say that I could have done this exercise for so many people I know.  There is love, compassion and beauty in so many.  Have you really looked at the people around you recently?]

 

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