Spoonfuls of Hope

Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed – Laurence Overmire

I woke up feeling flat to day; quieter, less smiley. But today my introspective mood was changed by a spoon. My teacher today was a spoon of all things. You just never know where there is a lesson for you do you?

I was unpacking the dishwasher into the cutlery drawer and dropped a dessert spoon. I was expecting it to clatter noisily to the floor but it fell completely silently. When I closed the drawer to look, I found it resting on my running shoe, carefully balanced there, face down. My expectation had been broken and it kind of woke me up. I started thinking about expectations. Despite feeling flat I have learned not to judge my day as ‘It’s going to be one of those days’! I don’t believe in that. A day is a day and I know that feelings and moods change in an instant if you accept and go with the flow.

Now that my kids are teenagers I look back on their childhood and wonder what I have could have done better with the magic of hindsight. And my conclusion is all about expectations. If I had expected to get no sleep, to be hormonal and weepy, to not be able to take a shower until lunchtime; if I had expected that they wouldn’t necessarily like the toys I had loved or that they would voluntarily put things away before the age of 16, or that teenage boys would stay in their room and reject all touch, it would have been a whole different ballgame and I would have enjoyed it all more. We perhaps would have been even closer if I had more realistic expectations and could have given them ultimate acceptance. On the other hand if I expected them to be far less capable and independent than I did then they might not have risen to the challenge and become the intelligent, independent kids that they are. All I know is that if I had had more information and had known exactly what to expect from each age, I could have saved myself some unnecessary suffering.

I realise how important it is for me to stop and look at my expectations from time to time in order to better understand where my moods are coming from. I have expectations and then I compare against them. Comparison is dangerous, as I have learned. There have been times in the past where I have gotten quite upset thinking I should have paid this much for a service and then been charged more. But if I had expected to pay more I might have been pleasantly surprised. What a dangerous thing to hook my wellbeing on. It is what it is.  Accept and move on.

Perhaps expectation is what Discount Retail Sales are based on. The shops tell us that we should be expect something to be this price but they are giving it to us for this much less so our expectations are exceeded and therefore we buy it and are happy. 

Anyway I digress. Have you ever exceeded your own expectations? Has some event or person or product exceeded your expectations? It’s a good feeling isn’t it?  Expectation has the ability to affect our moods. So there is another facet of our beliefs and mindstream to look more closely at. Examine your expectations of today, this minute, the people you know, upcoming events. What do you see?

Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed is too depressing for me actually. I don’t really live by that as I think it changes the energy of what’s around you. I like hope, love and good energy much better.

Hope for everything and make the most of whatever comes! – Emma Victoria Capell


7 thoughts on “Spoonfuls of Hope

  1. “Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed is too depressing for me actually. I don’t really live by that as I think it changes the energy of what’s around you. I like hope, love and good energy much better.”

    I’m with you 100 percent…look for good expect good, be good!

    • Yes it’s like ‘People who expect the best usually get it’. I believe it (and I am good too 🙂 ) The look for good is probably my most important mantra for a happy life. Appreciation. You hit the nail on the head.

  2. I’ve been struggling lately with expectations. On the one hand, I don’t want to expect anything in case I am disappointed, but I’m realising that positivity is always better than negativity. Positivity might bring disappointment once in a while, but negativity affects one’s entire outlook and even when things go well, may stop one from being happy.

    • Gosh Hera I wish I was Yaz Rooney on FreeYourMind. She is so much more brilliant and capable than I am and would have the best response for you. I only know my own journey to this ‘peace’. Hopefully she will see this but I will try. I think unhappiness comes from the gap between expectation and outcome so I go easy on the expectation. Being positive is about getting the most out of what’s already here than out of what you expect to be here later. I hope more than expect I guess. With all honesty I don’t always expect the best and take it for granted. When your expectation is grounded in absolute knowing, that you have complete faith of a great outcome (and it sometimes is) that’s amazing. But sometimes it’s just hoping to be honest. I get my positivity from always looking for the best in things and people. It’s a great exercise. Even watching people on the street, or at work, as they walk by I find something I like about them – smile, clothes, walk, bag, anything. Corny perhaps….

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