7th October 2012 – Poison Judgement
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – (fake? Buddha quote)
This is excellent. Of course, it’s you that dies!! The other person may have no idea that you are angry at them and if they do know, I hope they place that directly back where it belongs – with you! It has nothing at all to do with them. What they create with their own lives, deeds and thoughts is their own karma, good or bad. They bear their own cross. And you wouldn’t want to switch places probably.
There is another saying, something like there is no point trying to explain anything because your friends already know and your enemies will not believe you. So don’t defend yourself to the hater. No point. They are the one already suffering as you go about your daily bliss.
I take that poison theory a little further. Barbara Sher tells us that we have to do what we love, even if it’s not what we have our greatest talent in (yet, for surely regular practise and engaged study improves all). We may hate what we are fabulous at!! So we follow our passion. That means other people may see us doing a mediocre job at something, certainly at least when we get started with it, and life is too short to waste on mediocrity isn’t it? But here is the thing. Imagine you are watching your friends take up belly dancing, singing, stand up comedy or whatever. And you are their only audience at first. When we regard someone or something and we judge it, sometimes not so favourably, are we not still poisoning ourselves? Wouldn’t we be happier if we went all Buddhist and accepted it for what it was? We can sit watching a terrible movie, declaring it so and being miserable for the length of the movie or we could look for the good in it, especially if we can’t leave for some reason. It may be the photography, a certain actor we like the characteristics or clothes of, counting how many well placed product promotions are in it, the lighting, camera angles, anything?? (Failing that, catch up on some sleep – bonus).
Another saying that I like is – “I make the most of what comes and the least of what goes”. Or ‘People are happiest not who have the best of everything but make the best of everything”. Using basic maths, and ommitting words on both sides of equation, the basis of this is that ‘making is greater than having’! Or Make > Have. MK>HV (sorry, couldn’t resist). I couldn’t agree with myself more! Those people you hear about who say they achieved everything they ever wanted so why are they not happy and fulfilled, I say to them – give me your money!! No, I say to them, “get creative, get excited, got it? now spread it!!” Get back on your horse to your next adventure. And make sure you encourage those you love to ride along beside on horses of their own. (And I don’t even like riding).
So next time you catch yourself judging something as less than up to your high imaginary and ultimately self defeating standards, realise that you are making yourself less happy as a result. Look past the object of your attention to the joy in those who created it. Celebrate that someone else has tried, followed their heart and are out there doing it. And join them! Who looks happiest, the uncoordinated people on the dancefloor or the stilted bystander not wanting to make a fool of themself?