Begin to weave and God will give you the thread – GERMAN PROVERB
There is another quote very similar to this one from a group of serious mountaineers I believe which is too long to remember exactly but says that ‘once you make a commitment and there is no hesitancy, no chance to draw back, lots of things materialise which would not have otherwise.’
The meaning of this quote to me is that once we start to do something, things seem to appear like magic in order to help us with our task. It can be any task at all, enjoyed or not. Another well known version of this is ‘When you are ready the teacher will come’. The teacher is the thread and the weaving is the learning. I fully believe this concept works, due to human nature, not God necessarily or magic. You could say it’s a gift from God/the universe/providence because everything that exists, including the way our minds works has to come from somewhere. It works because when we begin a task we focus on it. The thread was always there but now we see it because we are subconsciously scanning for it. The thread is also is given to us because by our focus on our task and maybe talking about it to others, we invite them to find solutions and to help us. People love to help and will offer the thread they had sitting around. It is a gift to them to accept it as they will feel happier for having contributed and to have found a use for and a reason to part with something they didn’t want to just throw away!
This focus manifests for example when we see pregnant women everywhere once we are pregnant ourselves. Or when I was selling shoes, I would always check out people’s shoes when I was out and about. I don’t care a fig about shoes now!!
So, imagine starting a task, anything, even small. We decide to clean our house for some visitors. We think we have plenty of time and that we just have to wash up, put stuff andway and wipe down the floors and surfaces. Next thing you know, we notice that the outside of the cupboards have food or drink spilled on them, that the microwave is really in need of a clean and the glasses are quite cloudy. The weaving is the cleaning and the thread is the ability to see what needs to be cleaned. Not wildly exciting I grant you and can lead to a lack of time and a little frustration at letting it get like this, but your place will look really good long after the guests have left and you wanted to clean. You were motivated!
Imagine deciding to lose weight. You might restrict your intake and maybe get a little more active but you will also notice how many weight loss programmes there really are out there – and different ways to lose wight from calorie counting, prorammes where your food is delivered to you, meal replacements, TV programmes like the Biggest Loser, ads on the shopping channel for ab cruchers, tips to lose belly fat on the internet when you open Facebook etc. One of these may be just the right vehicle for you. I keep inventing new forms of exercise as I am still looking for one that I really like. So far I have invented jugglercise where every time I drop the ball (about every 4 seconds), I squat to pick it up instead of leaning over, and I have discovered laughercise where I read funny autocorrect fails on the internet until I laugh and cry at the same time and my tummy hurts. That has to do some good, right??
When I first read this quote it lifted my spirits because I instantly imagined a golden thread, maybe because of the popular song sung by Eva Cassidy. I imagine that the universe is giving me something spectacular with which to do my weaving, like magic, like I am powerful and invicinble and lucky and deserving. Ooh, now that’s a revelation – deserving. The concept has a huge force in my life, this deservingness of mine. I once won a car and felt so guilty, yes guilty! I thought maybe they had rigged the raffle because I was trying so hard at my job and was seeming to do so well, signing up 12 people in a short period to sell jewellery. I felt guilty because I was getting them to sign up by letting them sign up for free if they gave me the silk scarf they were being offered as a promotion. I would then pay for their signing up by buying that scarf myself, hoping to sell it later. But now I think about it, it was initiative, I still had to sell the scarf and I was taking a risk having 12 scarves I may not sell. I was worried that they might think I was this amazing saleswoman inspiring all those people to sign up when their heart may not have been in it. So I didn’t feel deserving. How daft. Conversely when our shares skyrocketed into millions of dollars worth (temporarily) in the dot com boom, I felt my husband and I were deserving, because of all the times we had been ripped off, lost his family busines to a fraudster etc. We could enjoy thinking we were rich for a while before it lost value because I felt we deserved it and it made all past wrongs right. We were good people. In this case, though I seem to digress, there is still the weaving and the thread. Stick with me. I was weaving a network of jewellery salespeople and the promtion came along to help me do it, and then the car. The very moment I won (at an event far away), I was calling potential customers, and was getting some rude rejeections. These customers had responded to an ad I placed in a bridal magazine. I had bought a load of pearl jewellery the month before in order to be eligible for the car raffle. I wondered why on earth I was doing this and then I got the call about the car. Unbelievable timing. I do not believe in ‘god’ per se, but I have seen enough coincidences or attributed enough events in my life as small miracles to see a pattern. If those patterns don’t exist but I am good at finding the thread with which to weave with and seeing thread where others would miss it, I am very happy to be me. I enjoy looking for the thread!
Anyway I digress. Back to the weaving thread.
I like to think I am weaving by deciding to write for an hour a day on these quotes, no matter what. I sit down to the task whether I feel inspired or not. I always have something to write. I thought I would find only 100 words to say on this quote for example and yet here I am! I am weaving words. The thread comes in the form of my imagination, my stored information and my ability to touch type without having my screen turned on, so that I can’t see what I am typing and can’t correct my spelling mistakes and lose the flow as I write. But I have had that thread for years. I bought that ability and this computer. The weaving won’t be good just from having a computer. Weaving is meaningful because I am happy to feel I am doing something original; giving part of me to these words, being authentic, writing something that no one else can or will because I am unique as we all are and at least I am doing it. I am a writer. Writers are people who write, not who get published, make money or get famous. I am a writer because I dare to put myself out there and put these words down.. I have an opinion. Yes I am scared to show this to anyone. I may not. I like to think that maybe my kids will read these when I am gone and feel like they know me and maybe themselves a little better because they recognise some of the beliefs I may have instilled in them by their repetition.
But I want to go back and explore the deserving becuase it really strikes a chord with me. I haven’t examined it before. If you don’t feel you are deserving you may not see the threads. You will be focused on your undeservedness. Say you weave the most beautiful golden cloak ever because you saw enough to find the threads and providence gave you the tools, the passion and the perseverance to finish. You may show your cloak to great acclaim and feel uncomfortable and respond by belittling it! “It has a few small holes and II only copied the design from a book or a friend had the thread going spare at home” Then what?? Will you enjoy the final product? Will you want to weave another one or can’t you cope with being admired for your work? I guarantee that when you begin to weave, human nature will show you the tools – that is the way the brain works but ‘God’ doesn’t always provide the ability to truly enjoy what you have woven or to tell anyone about it. That is up to you. Maybe this article is the thread you need to be aware of what you are thinking and to appreciate what you weave and achieve. I hope so!
(I just found a new thread for my writing. Because when I turned the screen I found that the whole essay was in capitals I did a search and replace for the all the i’s, meaning me. It told me I had over 80. Now I can tell how much I write about my experiences in each essay. I know I talk about myself a lot, because that is what I know and I am OK with writing it too because we are all unique. Plus I read a quote that says ‘Those who are afraid to use I in their writing will not make good writers’. Love it!)